Thursday, November 7, 2013

How I Chose My New Name

I've updated my personal FAQ with a question I've gotten asked a lot. Apparently, "Sheila" is also an Indian/Hindu name, which I had not realized before I decided upon it. I've always thought of "Sheila" as a common English name, and had never met anyone from India with that name.  Since I work with a lot of Indian folks, this question has come up.

Anyway, here's the story which I've posted onto my FAQ...

Q. How did you end up with the name "Sheila"?


There was a woman who occasionally visited me in my dreams named "Sheila", for most of my adult life. She was a dear friend, and dreams involving her were always special. Sometimes I indulged in a superstitious notion that maybe this was another person contacting me in my dreams, telepathically somehow, as if somehow hearts could connect psychically across great distances.

Of course, the rational part of me considers such notions far-fetched, and I always thought Sheila more likely a figment of my subconscious mind. Later, after I realized the need for gender transition, I understood Sheila as a female version of myself, and she stopped appearing in my dreams as a separate person...she became me, and I became her.

In the waking world, I thought about changing my name to Sheila, but I received negative feedback on that name for a variety of reasons (my wife Bonnie did not prefer the name Sheila!). So I spent about three months trying out a long list of first and middle names but could not make any of them stick. Sheila was the only name I was comfortable with, as much as I liked other choices (including Branna Lee, Beth, Joyce, Vivian, and Eleanor). I tried each name for several days, asking friends to call me that name...but only the name Sheila made me feel comfortable.

My full name is now Sheila Bradley Allen. "Bradley" was originally my first name, and I decided to keep Bradley as my middle name based on feedback from my Mom and Sister. I had wanted a more feminine middle name but it's not really used very often so it's not a problem. Also, I discovered while researching name choices that Bradley has historically been used as a female name, and only more recently was exclusively male. 

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